Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
