i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize