Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
