and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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