He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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