I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
