Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
