'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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