remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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