Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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