is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
