Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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