Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
