i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
