remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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