My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
