i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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