Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize