Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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