Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
