omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
