You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
you had me at cake vodka
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize