glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
