I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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