HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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