we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
