i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
