so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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