he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
