...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
