p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
my being single is dangerous.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize