I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
