My sheets look like a crime scene.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
