I'm really into asian looking animals
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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