a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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