apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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