I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize