we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
