I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
