At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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