yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
