Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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