We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
