umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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