u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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