this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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