His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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