It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
