i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
