he puts the penis in happiness.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
