So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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