worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
