I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
