i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
