this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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