1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Plan B is the new Plan A
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
