ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
