your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
