Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
