you didnt know i had herpes?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
