Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
