Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
